Why do i need to label my sexuality?
I’m nothing that a label can be put on……
My mind isn’t something thought up and named before…..
I will never be a good lesbian….
Hell i won’t even cut it as a bi girl…….
I‘m a complicated mess that will never be sorted…..
I’m not even at that awkward figuring out stage……..
I’m an adult….
A single 20 year old………
i feel the rush of the waves on my skin but i dont really feel them. i dont comprehend anything anymore. i hate the fact that im still breathing this bitter-sweet air. i wish it would all stop. the world is all a blur around me and it gives me a headache. i eat but food has no taste to me unless she is there with me but i know she will never be there again. i wish i could see her again, feel her touch, and for any sign that she knows im still alive. i wish i could make everything ok again but without her im lost. i wish i could end my suffering but i guess i deserve it.
so much pain and sorrow has ripped right through my chest……
i cant take this anymore…..
i want to go to sleep and never wake up……
i dont want to hurt anymore…….
god just take it away please………
I hate it that you are so silent but i can tell you everything. I hate it that when I touch you you pull away but when others touch you youre ok. I hate it when i make you mad there is no fixing it but when you make me mad its fine in a few minuets.
Today i asked the love of my life if she had feelings for me.
Her reply was only as a friend.
I am turning a new page now but i will need help.
I need someone there for me.
I want another chance at happiness…….
Will someone give me that chance?
the way the world sees me does not shape who i am
the world wants skinny so i eat
the world wants rich so i beg
the world wants hate so i love
the world wants me so i run to you
You are my earth
And i love you
I wouldnt want anyone but you
I cant tell you…
Id scare you away
I see you everyday at school
We dont speak i just look from a distance
Why do i do this?
I hate myself for it
But courage is not in my blood
I wish you knew
in a world of black and white i am the rainbow.
i am the gay that is hated and stared at.
forgotten by my family i try to just fit in.
but its kinda hard to do that when my feelings wont “be normal”
i like girls but i cant be that here.
im trapped inside my family and the only way out it to leave.
graduation day is my goal a few months from now ill be free.
ill show them who i really am.