i feel the rush of the waves on my skin but i dont really feel them. i dont comprehend anything anymore. i hate the fact that im still breathing this bitter-sweet air. i wish it would all stop. the world is all a blur around me and it gives me a headache. i eat but food has no taste to me unless she is there with me but i know she will never be there again. i wish i could see her again, feel her touch, and for any sign that she knows im still alive. i wish i could make everything ok again but without her im lost. i wish i could end my suffering but i guess i deserve it.

so much pain and sorrow has ripped right through my chest……

i cant take this anymore…..

i want to go to sleep and never wake up……

i dont want to hurt anymore…….

god just take it away please………

I hate it that you are so silent but i can tell you everything. I hate it that when I touch you you pull away but when others touch you youre ok. I hate it when i make you mad there is no fixing it but when you make me mad its fine in a few minuets.

Today i asked the love of my life if she had feelings for me.

Her reply was only as a friend.

I am turning a new page now but i will need help.

I need someone there for me.

I want another chance at happiness…….

Will someone give me that chance?

the way the world sees me does not shape who i am

the world wants skinny so i eat

the world wants rich so i beg

the world wants hate so i love

 the world wants me so i run to you

You are my earth

And i love you

I wouldnt want anyone but you

I cant tell you…

Id scare you away

I see you everyday at school

We dont speak i just look from a distance

Why do i do this?

I hate myself for it

But courage is not in my blood

I wish you knew

in a world of black and white i am the rainbow.

i am the gay that is hated and stared at.

forgotten by my family i try to just fit in.

but its kinda hard to do that when my feelings wont “be normal”

i like girls but i cant be that here.

im trapped inside my family and the only way out it to leave.

graduation day is my goal a few months from now ill be free.

ill show them who i really am.